i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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