WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize