i don't like sucking hair
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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