Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
