he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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