I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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