Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
