Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
