yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
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We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
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Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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