i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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