Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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