P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
