Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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