Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
