I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
