pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize