Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
