drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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