i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
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