My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
