She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i carry you out of a forest
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize