help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
