Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
