I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
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