he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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