Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
