There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
