I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
