I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
