i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
