i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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