In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Vodka?
Forever.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
