the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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