apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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