Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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