eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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