I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
