hell yes lets make some ravioli
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
