Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
