Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
