dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
