Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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