stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
