Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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