Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
