I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
