What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize