she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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