This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
