I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
