You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Randomize