I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
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Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Randomize