Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
