Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
