One girl and one boy is just not enough.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
