Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
We need a shit load of segways right now
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
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