i just wanna soil my oats bro
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
she told me i tasted like america
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
