Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
