YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
do herpes really smell.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
