if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
