If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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