It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
